How would you define change?
Would you say it is when you start taking action and do something differently in your life? Make a visible, tangible shift? Change in a way that others and the outside world can see?
Perhaps you’re making a bigger change, like shedding that extra weight. Selling your city flat and move to a house on the coast. Leaving that job you’ve outgrown and setting up your own business. Or starting to work part-time to spend more time with your family. Getting married. Or getting divorced. Or expanding your own activities again after the children fly the nest.
Or perhaps you’re making tweaks, like changing your commute to work. Buying your fruit and veg from the market, instead of your usual supermarket. Going to bed an hour earlier. Start listening more, and better, to the people in your life. (Check out 25 Simple Tweaks to Make a Difference in Your Life for more ideas.)
Whether sweeps or tweaks – change is all about making them happen, right?
Well, that’s correct – but only partly.
Because change is an iceberg
And the visible changes we make in the outside world are just the tip of it – what sticks out above the water, so to speak.
Whereas underneath, hidden under water, where no one else but you can see it, is all which happens inside you, as you get ready to make your change.
As with an iceberg, this is often the bigger part of any change. And as with an iceberg, this hidden part of your change process can trip you up, or sink your effort to change, just like that underwater iceberg did with the Titanic. (Find out how not to be the Titanic here.)
This hidden, inner, underwater part of your change process might include:
- Understanding what’s going on in our life.
- Realising you don’t want to go on as you are.
- Deciding you want to change something.
- Contemplating what that might be.
- Sitting on the fence, exploring or evaluating options, or going backwards and forwards.
- Making decisions and committing to really embark on whatever change you’ve been contemplating.
- Checking out how you might go about it.
- Speaking to others about how they made a similar change to the one you want.
- Looking for role models and motivators.
- Planning and preparing for your change.
- Overcoming your inner gremlins such as fears, procrastination, or excuses. And, finally:
- Finding and taking your first step.
You can see:
Your inner process often represents the bulk of the work of making a change
We all do quite a bit of internal work before we’ve even moved a finger towards making a real change in the outside world! That’s normal and natural.
Once we’re through that, our outside change might well happen quite quickly.
Which is why, when we’re not really ready on the inside, any practical, real-life change on the outside is unlikely to happen.
Being really ready to change can take us a while – and it’s where we often get stuck – but it doesn’t have to…
I can help you with both inner and outer change
Many of my clients come to me when they are stuck in this internal process of getting ready for change: They want something different in their life, but they don’t know what that is.
(If that is you, you’re not alone. Check out my free short e-book How to Know What You Want? for some friendly, practical help.)
Many struggle to decide. Or get overwhelmed with too many options. Or don’t know how to change, nor where to begin. They might even be aware they are making excuses, yet still cannot move forward. And they might well lose hope and motivation, and drop their change idea altogether, as it all starts looking too complicated and difficult.
Therefore, the intial focus of my work most often is to help my clients move forward on the inside. And when they feel clear and ready, we move onto finding the best, purposeful, practical outside actions that will take them where they want to go!
And, by the way: You don’t have to know what you want in order to work with me. Because I can help you find out!
Inspired to work with me? Have questions?
That’s great – why don’t we have a chat? I’d love to speak to you, as it’s important to me that we’re a good match. That my coaching is right for what you want in your life. And that I’m the right person to help you with this. (And, by the way, it’s ok if we find out that I’m not.)
You’re serious about discovering and creating a life that is right for you? You know you cannot do that on your own? Then book your initial call with me now – it’s free!
We’ll talk about where you’re at and what you want to do. We’ll clarify your questions. Work out if and how we can best work together. And get the ball rolling.