Updated on April 10th, 2019
Are you unhappy with your life? Feeling stuck, drained, dissatisfied? Want something different, yet don’t know what, nor how to change for the better in your life? It’s an unsettling and stressful place to be in. So I’ve created a process that has helped many clients move through it with more ease. Discover what’s next in their life. Make positive changes. And start living a life that is right for them; a life they love.
Want to know how? Read on…
Those unsettling times when an era has ended, or the life that worked for us in the past just doesn’t anymore, are stressful. We know we need something different, yet don’t know what that might be.
Unable to move on, it’s easy to feel trapped in a life we’ve somehow ended up in, and don’t want anymore. And lose confidence and belief in our ability to make positive changes in our life.
But take heart:
There’s opportunity in uncertainty
Why not take the time and space to figure out who you (really) are, right now. Then let a next life direction emerge that suits you. And change your life, bit by bit, into a life you love to live.
You are the only person who can change your life. And you have within you all the knowledge and ability this requires. It’s just that sometimes, you can get confused, and lose touch with that knowledge.
I do, too. We all do, when dealing with change.
Many of us have got a lot going on in our full and hectic modern lives. Contemplating a change on top of all that can be overwhelming.
Plus, we’ve now got so many options for everything, that it’s not entirely easy for us to know what we actually want. (If that’s you, check out my free short e-book How to Know What You Want on the right here.)
Lost at sea
Sitting in that uncertainty and figuring out what next, is an important growth step.
Yet shedding aspects of our life that aren’t right for us anymore, without knowing what they’re going to be replaced by, can leave us feeling vulnerable. And navigating a change in life when we don’t know exactly what next, can feel like being lost at sea.
That’s why I’ve created a process to help you navigate those transitions. Because having the structure of a process and my guidance as a change consultant is like having some pegs to navigate towards in your voyage of discovery into the life you love.
So you can feel on a journey of discovery, instead of completely lost at sea. And more relaxed, confident and supported in your journey.
This process is based on my own knowledge and experience of making changes in my own life. And it has been tried and tested with many clients, too.
I’m calling it:
My Ultimate How-To-Guide to Changing Your Life – in Six Steps
Now, everybody’s journey from a life they’ve outgrown into a life they love again is unique and specific to who they are.
Therefore, my process is flexible and adjustable to different people, life situations and even attitudes to change.
It is both structured and intuitive: Giving you the pegs to navigate towards, but leaving plenty of room to take your own route. And if you prefer the scenic route instead of the motorway, that’s totally ok! That’s often better, anyway, as you’ll be able to see and take with you what emerges along the way.
My process is designed to help you cut through your confusion. Inspire you to think in new and different ways. And guide you to find your own solutions and practical approaches to move into a life that is right for you, wherever you’re at.
Discovering and creating a life you love is not an entirely linear process – and yet, there are certain steps that I have found are particularly helpful.
Let me introduce you to them now – this post has an overview of them, with links to the more in-depth posts on each step. Best to go step-by-step, but you can also hop around between steps if you wish!
Before you start – Step 0: Create space
No matter how much you want a change, it won’t happen on its own accord – and certainly not if you’re constantly busy doing lots of other stuff.
If you’re serious about your change to happen, you’ll need to create space to dedicate to it. So you can do all the things you need to do, in order to figure out what you want, and then move towards that in real life: Just be. Reflect. Explore. Discover. Structure. Discuss. Process. Decide. Plan. Prepare. And take action.
Therefore, your Step 0 – before you do anything else – is to create regular space in your diary. Space in your days. Space in your mind. Space in your heart. Sometimes, that’s the hardest thing. Yet it’s in this space that you work on your change. And it’s this space is where your change, and the life you love, will drop in.
Step 1: Look back before moving forward
“Really?” I hear you ask. “Here I am, ready to move forward in my life, and you’re asking me to look back?”
Why this is useful?
Well, it’s not only useful, but necessary.
So you get to honour and own your life journey with all its high and low points, the important people you met, and the things you did well, as well as those you did not so well. And embrace the real picture of your life.
So you can draw out what you learned. Who you’ve come to be. What’s really important for you, and why. What still works for you and what doesn’t. What business is still unfinished, and what you need to let go of before moving on.
Stuff like that. It’s important!
Because your life so far has shaped and marked you. It created, at least in part, who you are today. How do you feel looking at it like that?
Which themes emerge for you? What insights can you gain? What do you learn about yourself?
These are the things you want to take with you into a life you love!
Step 2: Create a snapshot of who you (really) are
Self-indulgent navel-gazing? Esoteric gibberish? I think not.
Busy as we are, loaded with responsibilities and often doing more for others than ourselves, taking the time to discover who we really are underneath all of that and the roles we may have come to play in family, work and society, is a crucial step to change your life in a way that makes it right for you.
You might have figured out who you are in younger years. But it – or at least some of it – will have changed since you last looked, based on the life you’ve lived, and the experiences you’ve had since.
So take the time and space (remember Step 0?) to look in the mirror, and understand: What are you really about? What makes you tick? What’s really important to you in life? What do you believe in? When are you at your best, when at your worst? What do you love? And what do you have to give?
Create an honest snapshot of you today. Because you want your future life – the life you love – to be aligned with this!
Step 3: Tease out your new vision
Visions are powerful. They are statements of our desires, dreams, our wishes, and intentions for our future. Done right, they’ll guide us, like a beacon, into the life we love, even when our path looks rather dark.
Start with what you can see now, and refine it once you get underway. From your life so far, and the snapshot of you today, tease out where you want to be in the future:
What’s important then? What are you taking with you from today? What do you want to do differently, or stop altogether? What new aspects do you want to introduce? Where do you want to live and with whom?
Fill your vision with people, activities and things you love. Make it juicy and inspiring. Make it yours.
Step 4: Create a rough roadmap
So you’ve taken the time to explore who you are and where you’ve come from. Given some thought to where you want to go, and created a beacon to guide you there.
Now get practical. What needs to happen for you to realise your vision? What are the big steps? What needs to happen sooner, what can wait till later? What’s a good sequence of action, what a good approach? And also: Whose help will you need along the way?
The emphasis here is on the word ‘rough’. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to plan everything down to a t. There will be things you know today, and things you’ll need to find out along the way. So a rough roadmap is all you need, and all you can do, really!
Step 5: Get underway
Having a vision and rough roadmap is great -but where do you go from there?
What you need next is your first step(s). They will break the ice – for real. They will infuse you with confidence and motivation to make real changes. They will give you a sense that you’re off, and underway towards a life you love.
And you don’t even have to wait until you’ve got Steps 1-4 all ‘sorted out’. Just keep asking yourself, at any stage: Which one thing can I do today that will take me one step closer to a life I love? Then do that, and keep doing that again and again.
And don’t worry about getting it wrong: It doesn’t matter so much where you start, as that you start.
Step 6: Keep g(r)owing
Finally: Don’t expect your journey into a life you love to be a linear, flawless journey:
As you get more into it, you will learn things you didn’t know before. You yourself, and your priorities, might change through what you experience, and what looked right for you at the start of your journey might not look right anymore later on.
Life, too, has a way of throwing in the unexpected – an issue, an insight, a person we meet, a complex situation, an illness, an opportunity… So be prepared to respond to that, and adjust your vision, roadmap and priorities as you go along, if that is necessary.
Still – keep on the journey: Every so often, review your progress. Address obstacles promptly. Get help where you need. Share the journey with like-minded others. Work on your attitude, keep interested and engaged. And give yourself a pat on the back every now and then, too.
Read more about Keeping G(r)owing… – coming soon!
Keep with it. Keep going. And keep growing!
And if you could use help with that – why not work with me?
Want to learn more about each of the 6 Steps?
Hop over to the first post in the series – it’s about an essential prequisite before you even start with Step One: Step 0: Create Space