Updated on October 18th, 2018

Fed up with aspirational, inspirational, motivational statements egging you on to constant personal development and self-improvement? Tired of always working on yourself, trying (and often failing) to be more, bigger and better, in a never-ending chase of that next level of growth? Had enough of constantly positive thinking? Disillusioned with the results you’ve obtained (or not)?

It sounds to me like you’ve got PDF – Personal Development Fatigue. Here’s a remedy – read on to find out what to do!

“Be the best you can be. Get out of your comfort zone, take a risk. Do more, in less time. Ditch bad habits. Build good habits. Beat your fears. Are you accomplishing what you wanted? Each day is a new chance to change your life. Aim to be so happy that, when others look at you, they become happy too!”

How often do you come across statements like these – aspirational, inspirational, motivational?

Or perhaps you even collect them in a Book of Motivation, share them with friends, or display them, on post-its or in picture frames, in your home?

Well, you’re not the only one!

A society of Personal Developers

The internet is full of aspiration, inspiration, motivation, tips and tricks, advice, best practices… So are all kinds of magazines, books, even advertising billboards, and postcards.

In our privileged Western Society many of us have our basic life needs (food, sleep, a roof over our head) covered. So we have increasingly become interested in developing our personal selves and our lives:

We’ve become a nation of self-developers, set on growing, improving and bettering all kinds of areas of our lives: Creating harmonious relationships. Rebuilding our self-esteem and confidence. Achieving our full potential. Expressing ourselves creatively. Becoming more aware. Applying more compassion. Helping others have the opportunities we had.

The list goes on. What have you been working on recently?

Many of us love working on being the best we can be, and live the best lives we can live. After all, the encouragement, information and inspiration for it is all around us!

And why wouldn’t we, when this is great – for us and our society?Together we develop, and create happier lives, and hopefully, some day, a fairer society.

However:

Have you ever had PDF… Personal Development Fatigue? 🙂

I have!

I’ve done a lot of personal development in my life, and I work in the field, too – so perhaps that’s no surprise. 🙂

Still, I’m passionate about the stuff.

And yet:

Sometimes, all that inspiration and encouragement just gets a bit much: Wherever you look, you’re being told to imagine it, achieve it, dream it, become it. To eat better, exercise, think positively. To extend yourself beyond your current self. To be all you can be…

But fact is:

We cannot soak up all those suggestions osmotically, just by reading them. They don’t just magically absorb into our system, and – hey presto! – we’re better than we were before.

Developing, growing, improving involves changing long-ingrained habits. Changing ourselves. And our life. That’s work – right? – even when we’re changing for the better, which is a good thing. And, like all work, however good, it is tiring – emotionally, psychologically, neurologically and physically.

Therefore, if you find yourself looking at all these motivational statements with apprehension or even cynicism; or if you feel tired at the mere thought of living the best life you can live – here’s what you do:

Take a break

Just stop engaging in anything to do with improvement and change.

Float and drift a while, like you might do in a pool in summer, or curled up  on the sofa with a blanket and a good book in winter. Enjoy where you are. Savour what you have. Experience what it is right now.

It may not be perfect. You may not yet be where you want to be. You may aspire to more, or different things.

No matter.

For now, just be the perfectly imperfect you that you are. And live the life, and do the work, that you have at this moment. Without questioning it. Without searching for anything. Without complaining.

Just live your life as it is for a while.

Why breaks from personal development are vital

Change is kind of like a good meal: We need time to plan and prepare it. Then we make the change – we eat the meal. And then we digest and internalise it – really taking it into our system.

We need to give ourselves space for all three activities. It’s to do with our nervous system taking time to get used to the new way of being, behaving, working or living. That’s hard work, as it cannot rely anymore on the habitual shortcuts and well-trodden loops it had built up.

In times of preparing and internalising a change nothing much seems to happen on the outside.  But a lot is happening inside us, and it is a vital part of the change we’re creating. If we rush from one personal development activity to the next, making one change after another, after another, after another, we can get overwhelmed over-full, and frazzled. Like when we’re eating and eating and eating one meal after another, without much time to digest, really.

So:

Just live a while. And don’t worry: You will get back on track!

If you’ve got PDF, don’t feel bad about doing nothing much in your personal development for a while.

Know that it’s a natural rhythm: Every life has times of focused working and doing, and times unfocused being. Times of making a marked change, and times of resting and getting used to the level reached through that change.

And in order to avoid PDF in the future, take a gradual approach to the Be The Best You Can Be Mantra, so you can also enjoy your journey. After all, you have a life time to work on stuff, haven’t you?

Oh – and don’t worry too much about not being able to get back into gear if you stop:

Trust that you will know when you’ve digested your recent change. When you’ve had enough of (positively) drifting aimlessly. The moment will inevitably come, when you’ll feel the need to go on your next adventure, and immerse yourself in the next bit of improvement, development, risk or change.

For now: Enjoy your break!

PS.
And if you want to find out how ready (or not) you are for a next change, why not take my fun little quiz?

Over to you now

Have you ever had PDF? What brought it on? And what did you do?

Please share your experience below – thank you!