Updated on June 18th, 2025
Feeling daunted about ‘Big 5-O’? Wondering if your best years are behind you? Yes, having been around for half a century can feel like a watershed, particularly if you’re not where you were hoping to be in your life. And yes, life can get tough in your fifties. Even so: There’s never been a better time to make positive life changes than for 50-somethings – even if, or particularly if, life gets tough. Here’s why your fifties might just be the ultimate launchpad for the life you’ve always wanted.
Our 50ies: Downhill slide or prime time?
Let’s be honest — for many of us (women especially, but men too), turning fifty isn’t met with balloons and fanfare. Our bodies change, sometimes in ways that feel sudden or unfair. Our children may be leaving home (or struggling to), and careers we’ve built over decades may no longer fulfill — or even include — us. Menopause arrives, often uninvited and rarely polite. For many women, it can feel like society starts looking through us rather than at us.
Our fifties can be tough. They can bring uncertainty and major life crises that are difficult to navigate. If you’ve experienced loss, burnout, or unexpected upheaval recently — you’re not alone. Redundancy, divorce, illness, parents passing away… these can all pile on. You might be looking at your life thinking: “How did I get here? And is this it?”
Those are heavy questions. They deserve time, and tenderness.
But here’s something I want you to know:
This too will pass. You will get through it.
You’re not broken. You’re at a threshold, or in the middle of a transition.
And on the other side of it is something new.
My own fifties Crisis (yes, capital C)
When I got into my fifties, which I had – perhaps naïvely – been looking forward to, I was blindsided by how hard it hit me. It came on gradually: Aches and pains turned moving as I was used to into hard work. I became unable to sleep through the night. A slow, heavy fog of dissatisfaction, confusion and exhaustion engulfed me. My life as I’d known it ended. Then my mother, who lived in a different country, got seriously ill, just as the pandemic hit. Emotions – rage, sadness, grief – ran riot inside me.
I didn’t recognise my life anymore. Nor myself in the mirror. And, even scarier: I didn’t feel like myself anymore. What on earth had happened?
I did what I often do when I’m lost: I read. I researched. I went looking for answers. I tried all kinds of stuff to help me feel better.
For a long while, I didn’t find anything that worked for me. I was almost resigned to living the rest of my life crippled by this… disabling, depressing midlife condition.
But, though I couldn’t see it at first, there was a thread of hope. Many people and many experts — many — said that their fifties had become a time of coming into their own, of stepping into their power, of being in their prime. A time of discovery, clarity and joy.
It took me a while to start believing them: My own condition, my own life, seemed so far away from that!
But eventually, with support, courage, and a lot of patience, I began to shift things. Slowly. One breath, one decision one baby step at a time. And things began to change for me.
My crisis acquired meaning: I saw that it had cleared the space for me to transform, and for new things to come into my life.
So if you’re in that space of fog, fatigue or fear, hear this:
You’re not alone.
You’re not too old, too late, or too lost. This might just be the beginning of something new. And the perfect time to change your life!
10 reasons why 50 is the perfect time to change your life
1. You finally know who you are
So you’ve lived a while. Half a century – congratulations!
You know yourself quite well by now (if not, why not reflect on this now?) You know what lights you up – and what drains you. What works for you – and what doesn’t. What you love, and what makes you happy – and what you don’t want anymore. You know your strengths. And your weaknesses. You’ve overcome challenges, making mistakes, surviving desasters, celebrating successes.
You’ve got through it. You’ve built resilience. That’s a superpower.
Now, you get to create a life that truly reflects you. No more excuses. No more pretending.
What an opportunity!
2. You’re still young enough to make it happen
When my Italian grandmother came to visit for my First Communion, we stood up in church, so she, the old woman, could sit. Mind you, she would have been around fifty at the time! She had lived through two World Wars, known a lot of hardship, and brought up six children. A tough life like that inevitably leaves its mark.
How different things are for us today! Have you ever given up your seat for someone who’s fifty? And if the fifty-year-old is you: Do you need people to stand up so you can sit down? Probably not!
No, you’re not 30 anymore. Of course not. But that doesn’t mean you’re “old.” You’re just… different than before. But you’re still mobile, energetic, curious. Maybe even stronger. And if you’re not feeling that way yet, the good news is: you can get there.
Today’s 50 is not our grandmothers’ 50. We’re still in the game — and we’ve got better knowledge, better support, better gear. We’re definitely young enough to change our lives, if we want to!
3. You’re too old for the nonsense
One of the underrated joys of midlife is a powerful drop in “BS” tolerance. Whether it’s toxic workplaces, dead-end relationships, or social masks you (and others) have worn for years — you start seeing through them.
And once you do? You realise you don’t have to keep playing along. You don’t have to keep doing what you’ve always done. Nor what others expect of you.
Midlife might just be your permission slip to stop coping and start choosing.
So go on: Choose a work that’s meaningful to you. Choose a pace of life that suits you. Choose relationships that nourish you. And live a life you love!
4. You’re too young to stop growing
Living a comfortable armchair or cruise ship existence in your fifties? Not yet!
That idea, that hope, that dream you shelved years ago might be knocking on your door again. If you let it! Or a new one altogether might come in sideways.
Whether it’s writing a book, starting a new career, moving to the sea, learning something creative or going back to school — keep growing.
For this is your time. Truly.
5. You might have more time (and space) than ever before
For yourself, that is.
If your kids are grown (or almost), if your parents no longer need daily care, if your mortgage is easing off… you might finally have something that once felt like a fantasy: Time and space. To think, breathe, dream. To explore. To look after yourself.
That can feel scary at first. But it’s also sacred. So use it.
Always wanted to take up Salsa dancing, travel the world, find a new partner, learn Spanish, or re-train as a garden designer? Or reinvent yourself completely, and start your life afresh?
Now’s the time!
6. You feel a deeper urgency – and that’s a gift
That’s ’cause you’ve now got some life to look back on. You’ve seen life’s fragility up close. Friends get sick. Parents pass away. Your body shows you that it’s not invincible, nor immortal.
You realise there are probably more years behind you than ahead of you.
This can bring anxiety, yes — but also clarity. What you don’t want anymore becomes more obvious. What you do want, too. It’s got to be meaningful. It’s got to matter. And it feels more precious.
The ticking clock isn’t your enemy. It’s your call to action.
7. You (often) have the means
This doesn’t mean you’re lounging on a yacht (although — if you are, congrats). But many of us in our fifties are financially freer than before: fewer dependents, fewer large expenses, a little savings tucked away.
And even if the numbers aren’t where you want them, your ability to budget, adapt, and make wise decisions is much sharper now. You know what you need. And what you don’t need. What will you need for the life you want to live, and for transitioning into it? What do you already have on the side? And what will you have to top up, and how?
Many of my clients have a light-bulb moment when they do this exercise, realising that they have more than enough resources to create a life they love. Or they find that the life they want is simpler and cheaper, and that it would be ok for them to live on less money – for a while, or even forever. Or they see that it wouldn’t be that difficult for them to save enough money to get started with a change.
So really, there’s no excuse for not changing your life – whether in your fifties, nor at any time: Chances are that you’ll have the means. Or that you’ll find them!
8. You’re (mostly) immune to judgment
Coming into your own will increase your confidence. And the more you’re confidently yourself, the less you’ll be affected by other people’s opinions or judgments. By 50, you’ve likely realised you’re never going to please everyone — and frankly, you no longer want to.
There’s something glorious about giving fewer damns. It frees you up to finally make choices for you. And that, my friend, is liberation.
So go ahead with your life change. And happily let others’ opinions be!
9. You’re wiser – and that changes everything
You don’t just have knowledge. You have experience. And perspective. You’ve failed, succeeded, hurt, healed. You’ve loved people you’ve lost. You’ve found your way out of dark places.
You’ve learnt to trust yourself and your gut feeling. You know how to take (calculated) risks, because you know what you can do. Or because you’ve done it before. And you also know that, if things go wrong, you can and will come through.
So chances are that all this will inform your choices. And when you think about changing your life now, it’s not from naïveté. It’s from grounded knowing. And that makes all the difference.
10. You have something to give
You’ve spent decades gathering and building — experience, lessons, stories, mistakes. Now you get to share them.
Sharing our experience – in formal and informal ways, paid or unpaid – is satisfying and meaningful. At fifty, you’re ideally placed to harness this kind of satisfaction, and change your life to make experience sharing an integral part of it.
Whether you’re mentoring, writing, teaching, volunteering, parenting your adult children, or whether you’re simply role-modelling a joyful life and inspiring others with it — all that has value. You are valuable.
So what are you waiting for?
The bottom line
Your fifties might not look how you expected. You may be carrying grief, weariness, or a quiet sense of disappointment. That’s real. Let’s honour that.
But this chapter — this precious, complicated, powerful chapter — is not the end.
It’s the in-between. The becoming.
And change — deep, life-giving, soul-satisfying change — is absolutely possible here. Maybe even more possible now than ever before.
So take courage. Go gently – but go boldly.
This is your time.
Read more about life and change in your fifties
Living through unease and crises in your fifties
50 Ways to Celebrate Your Fifties
Over to you now
What are your experiences of turning 50?
What’s your life like in your 5th decade? What are its joys and challenges?
What do you want it to be like?
I’d love to read your comments, please share them below – thanks!
Want help with your life change?
Consider working with me. I offer tailored coaching programmes for every budget. And if you’ve got questions about coaching, or want to get a feel for whether we’d be good to work together, just book an informal chat with me. It’s free!
Photos: Pixabay
Comments
This is all great if things have been working out moderately well for you in your life… But seriously, what about those of us who things haven’t worked out for at all, in spite of our best efforts, in spite of being an A+ honours student, in spite of being conscientious & ethical, in spite of being exceptional in quality of work, in spite of having a decent and well-rounded blend of experience in Management, training, and operations, in spite of having been in the top hand full of workers in most of my work situations (some I was not suited to and I didn’t do well…), in spite of regularly offering WAY MORE than basic job requirements, in spite of volunteering regularly in the community… My work life has been degenerating… It is hard to feel happy and fulfilled when you are the best at what you do in the area but you can only make $15k per year. Your post seems to look at life through rose tinted glasses, and cherry picks good situations and positive ambitions, but what about when you’ve done EVERYTHING you can with positivity and kindness, and you still end up in a garbage situation…?? And you mention retirement… What a joke!!! I’ll expire before I retire!!
Hi ‘Dead Man Walking’, thanks for your comment. I’m really sorry to read about your work life, that’s not where you’d want it to be, despite your hard work, excellence in training and work, and your conscientious, ethical positive and kind behaviour. And you’re right – this post focuses on the positive side of being fifty, BECAUSE many of us (and that includes me) might feel angry, bitter or hopeless at times, about our life, and challenges or crises we face, when we reach our fifties. Because it isn’t an easy decade of life for most of us.
However, your comment made me think that I really want to acknowledge more the tough situations many of us go through in our fifties. I have therefore written another post on the subject: LIVING THROUGH UNEASE AND CRISES IN YOUR FIFTIES .
I cannot offer you a ready-made solution for your situation, but I can share my own story and the things that helped me, and hope that this can be of use.
Life can be unfair at times, and many things that happen to us we have no control over. I have found that processing what’s happened, and working to let go of the anger, disappointment and bitterness that this can naturally cause us, is a difficult, yet important first task, because such feelings keep us stuck in what hasn’t worked, clouding our view on our life and ourselves, and blocking us from wanting to move forward.
I have also found, in my own Fifties Crisis, that, if I work on the things that I DO have control over, and start feeling better in myself, I am more likely to find positive changes I can make that improve my situation. I give myself a chance to find my very own way of moving through the crisis and the difficult feelings it produces.
Perhaps my post can give you useful nuggets of inspiration, or even practical ideas. I do hope and wish for you to find your very own way through!
I enjoyed your piece. For a long time now, I’ve been aware of the years whizzing past me and life feels to have passed me by. It literally seems 5 minutes since I was “celebrating” my 40th birthday! At 50 now, I’m constantly reflecting on the past and what I could have done better or just generally feeling sad for the past, good times and how fast it has gone. I lost my mum in March this year and my father 9 months before that. I miss them both dearly – especially my mum as I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I have a partner and he has helped me a lot though these tough times but I don’t know what it is – I feel stuck in a rut and generally dissatisfied with my lot. Not all the time, I might add. I do find joy and happiness sometimes – in simple things like enjoying a lovely meal or playing with the cats. I do tend to dwell on negatives instead of positives but also try to focus on the right here, right now – but it’s hard sometimes. I wonder if many other men feel the same at my age – almost always conscious that time is running out?
Dear Martin, thank you for sharing where you’re at, at 50.
You know, I believe (and I know from clients and myself) that a lot of people around 50 – both men an women – feel the same way! Having reached mid life and a bit beyond, there’s certainly a process of taking stock going on – reflecting on where we’ve come to in our life; what we’ve gone through, both good and bad; and what we’ve achieved, or which dreams we’ve not (yet) realised… We might want to celebrate the good times we’ve had, voice gratitude for what’s been fabulous and amazing, give ourselves a pat on the back for what we’ve achieved so far. More difficult feelings might come up, too: Regret for what we haven’t achieved, or for when we haven’t responded to a situation or a person in the best possible way. Sadness for the time that has gone by, for our youth that is ending, for the things that are now not open to us anymore, or more difficult to do. And yes – a feeling of urgency at the realisation that the time we have left in this life is now less than it used to be, and therefore precious. We might feel the need to spend it well.
It is important to acknowledge, honour, celebrate and even mourn our past when we’re at a watershed like entering our 50ies. (I often start my coaching with a new client there, as it is helpful, if you’re stuck, to do this process with an impartial, supportive person such as a coach.) And then it’s also important to let go of the past, and let it be the past, and make your peace with it as an integral part of yourself that has shaped you, but doesn’t need to define you. Then look at where you’re at now, and what you like and dislike about your life now. What fulfills you and gives you joy, and what irritates you and drags you down. Then from there, spend a bit of time envisioning how you’d like to live from now on, in the precious time that you’ve got ahead of you. How might you live, so that it feels right for you, is meaningful, and feels like your time is well spent? And then consciously make the changes you need in order to create and move towards this live.
It feels to me that you’re still grieving – for your parents and for your past. Is that right? I am really sorry for your losses. Do take time to process them, and to heal from them. Nurture yourself, express your grief, get support to work through it, if that feels helpful.
You’ll know when you’ve grieved ‘enough’ to be ready to look at moving forward with your life. Sometimes, when we come out of grief, particularly when we’re having to re-orient ourselves after the loss of a loved one, this can be like starting over in our life, on a clean slate. Which can be tough, but is also a wonderful new opportunity to create a life that suits and fulfills us. I wish you well on your path – if and when you feel ready to start envisioning and creating this next phase of your life, do get in touch, as my coaching can really support you with that. xxx
I like reading the article..I’m still wondering what I should do to make my life more fulfilling . I’m a divorcee and m looking forward to find my goal in life.
Hello Karen, thanks for your response. I have a few posts on this blog that might be helpful for you, if you’re looking to create a more fulfilling life:
–> Lost For Purpose? Look In These 5 Places https://livealifeyoulove.co.uk/5-top-purpose-givers
–> 6 Steps to a Life You Love – change your life with ease and joy https://livealifeyoulove.co.uk/6-steps-to-a-life-you-love
–> Not Doing What You Want In Life? Adjust In 7 Simple Steps https://livealifeyoulove.co.uk/not-doing-what-want
If you don’t know what you want, there’s my free e-book HOW TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, which you can get here: https://livealifeyoulove.co.uk/lp-want
Finally, if you’d like some coaching help to set meaningful goals and create a more fulfilling life for yourself, drop me a line at monica@livealifeyoulove.co.uk, and we can talk about how to set that up!
Wishing you well!
Thanks for writing the article. I came across it by googling.. ‘ Where should a 53 yr old be in his life’?
I think if like myself you don’t have a partner or kids you start to question yourself. I hear the many arguments that the freedom singleton brings but I can’t stop thinking that maybe these adrenaline/adventure junkies use these distractions to compensate for not having the things are that are really Important in life
Thanks for your comment, Anthony – it sounds like you’re in a place of reflecting about your life at the moment. To me, there is no right or wrong of where anyone ‘SHOULD’ be in their fifties. What, to me, IS important, is that we move towards, or create, or live a life that suits who we feel we truly are. That we’re being very honest with ourselves in reflecting on what truly matters to us, what’s truly important to us in life. And then create a life that has enough of these people, things, experiences, or activities in it that matter to us. So that we live our life in tune with what we really value. For some people freedom is the most important thing – some find sufficient freedom with a partner and a family to feel happy. Others need greater personal freedom, which they find perhaps in adventures, and for this, they might choose to sacrifice the idea of being with a partner or having a family. (Which doesn’t mean they might not be giving to others in other ways.) For others again, family is the most important thing, and they are happy to renounce greater personal freedom for that, because giving themselves into a family makes them happy. I really don’t feel like judging one choice over the other. So, never mind other people: What’s most important for YOU, now that you’re in your fifties? To what extent do you have that in your life today? And if your answer is ‘not enough’ – what might you do to add more of that into your life? Wishing you very well in your journey, and thanks for reading and commenting!
I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. Unfortunately I cannot relate to the having children and the “empty nest” syndrome since I’m single, unmarried without children. A demographic I believe is still quite marginalized. So that’s one challenge aside from facing my 50th birthday this coming August 6, 2020
Glad you enjoyed the article, Liza! I too am single and have no children. I too feel there is challenge in that, as well as great opportunity to be free(er) in feeling into what we need and dream of for our fifties than if we had the needs of a family to take into account… I guess every circumstance has its beauty AND its challenge! How do you feel about your 50th birthday coming up? Might you mark the occasion or not?